*AUTHENTIC* vAmPiRe BaT mUmMy + cross + mini-coffin
Description
There was a 100+ year old curio shop on the Plateau in Montréal that I visited in the summertime of 2015 whilst I lived there for their final closing sale, as the descendants of the family who built the building needed the cavernous beaux-arts shoppe area to be converted into living space to accommodate the not-so-newly conceived generation... they needed to get rid of an entire bachelor suite filled to the brim with a cornucopia of skeletons, precious gemstones, many decaying taxidermist animals including a two headed calf & a three headed goat... I noticed one of my favourite living creatures was popular among the dead deals displayed: “Chauvre-souris” / BATS!!!
The small skeletons & minuscule mummies were 100$ for the full wingspan splayed out in all its never-to-fly-again glory... but having only a hundred left over until the end of the week, I had to be frugal (for once in my life- but not really at all); so I cast my gaze across the table of death & mines eyes locked upon this simple pine wood cross with a dried bat superglued to it on one side. My mind ran wild with questions like: where did it come from? Was it a vampire bat? Is it... HAUNTED??? Transylvania. Duh. Of course! *ka-ching* and i biked home on those efficient-ish cycling paths to the Mile Ex with my new familiar in the underworld, christened “Rudolfo” (after Valentino, bien sur)...
I can recount to you all the misfortune/bad choices that have befallen this beguiling witchy bitch boy- but I won’t. I did make an artsy object theatre video during Halloween 2019 dedicate to Rudy (put “Café Concret Antonio bavaro” into a search engine & maybe it will turn up); but this cryptic cutie remained in his box for 99% of the time he’s been sucking by life force away the past sextant of calendar years... second by second, drop by drop... I actually had a somewhat serious parasitic invasion for half a year, that was cleared up with a disbelieving meh-dical team & a truly outrageous naturopath.
I bought him- it’s definitely à him wink wink, nudge nudge*- for 50 Quebecois dollaramas... a few days or weeks or girly burlesque and/or drag performances later & he came undone- peeled right off from his cross he’s been glued onto for only Dracula knows how long that kept him solely in the land of the unliving... I could show you some freaky pictures of what may be our dear “Pipistrello canadese”; but you’ll only see a tree branch in the wind or a reflection of a reflection of an old coat...
although parting is such sweet sorrow, I will take whichever suitable sap- I mean, connoisseured customer- sends me the best reason for their funded appropriation of said batty battybatty - VISCOUNT RUDOLFO VON DINKAMARINKADINKYDINK THE 1st!!!...
...so hit me with your best shot.
...Offer me your spooky trades of equal but preferably lesser IRL horror.
...gimme all your money, all your hugs & kisses, too! ***Because of pandemic, actual hugs & kisses will be apart from each other the same distance as the wingspan of the Oceanic Flying Fox.
... or: 66.66$ cash (for emotional & spiritual damages ensued + beauteous black little bat box / coffin)
... Mr. Chiroptera will go to the highest bidder before Sunday, Feb. 28th @ the stroke of darkest leap-year midnight...
...Muahahahahah!!!! *ahem* bonne chance...
*bursts into digital bat memes & disappears into cyber-hell (aka Facebook), leaving only this ad...*
- Offered by: Owner
- Ad Type: Offering
pets | other pets for rehoming
2021-04-11